Thursday, December 4, 2008

finally my sonnet (:

so i finally finished my sonnet. not really sure if i got the format right... it's not the best.
but for a first attempt, it's pretty ok.
don't have a name for it yet.
if you have any name ideas, let me know. 
but here it is:

Credit I give you too much of,
Much more than you deserve.
Yet how should I proceed to love
You with your sweet nerve?
The seasons war within
Winter to summer, harsh winter
Back to serene, playful summer again
Only for that to be once more interred.
Behind your eyes is a storm of the seasons
A blizzard of cold, icy stares
Yet time after time, your seasons change with no reason
These swings are getting us nowhere.
Yet like after a storm, there is a calm
All is resolved, your hand in my palm.

well, there it is...


Ionafey said...

Hi, there,
Thanks for following my blog. I, too, have been working on sonnets lately. I think they are rather fun. :)

I think you have the rhyme scheme right. It is abab, cdcd, efef, gg.

However, I think the meter is supposed to be iambic pentameter -- or the number of syllables Shakespeare used. At least, for the English sonnet. Check out this link:

That being said, though, I like your sonnet. :) I think you've captured your feelings well . . . I think I may blog a sonnet tutorial on my site because they're really fun for me. Then a roundel and an ode. Both fun in themselves, but sonnets are easiest.

_we_the_pieces_ said...

The sonnet tutorial sounds REALLY GOOD
I mean really good.
Yeah, I was thinking the meter was off a bit, I just wasn't sure how to correct it...
but thanks for the advice!
Not sure what a roundel is though....

gnikky werd said...

A lovely sonnet, doubt that I could write one at all. How about at title like: Turbulent Peace?

Inkpot said...

I love the sonnet, well done. They are not easy to write. I agree with ionafey with the meter, but I'm sure with a bit of work you can sort it out. Good luck with getting a high grade. :)

Don said...

Very nice. I have a sonnet in the works for an upcoming anniversary: it's a secret. Shhhh.

A title: Resolved? (with a question mark) It ties to your closing line which is good, but hints at the angst which permeates the relationship.) What did you name it?