Sunday, December 7, 2008

new poem

i wrote a poem yesterday. i'm relatively pleased with it.
if anyone has a more creative title, let me know
here it is:

Wings and Chains

Higher higher higher I go
Breathing in air so fresh
So free
Winging soaring
Wings of soft
Warm and swift, at home in the sky

But higher I climb
Defiant in speed
Before I escape
My neck is jerked backwards
And down I fall
To be put back in my place

Faster faster faster I fall
My wings try to soar
They struggle and they strain
But I fall and fall
Pulled by chains
Down to the ground
I hit it hard and fast
And my wings are no more
No longer can I soar


Laura Jayne said...

A powerful poem, both in its imagery and in the emotions.

Ionafey said...

I agree, powerful. I love the imagery of flying and then being pulled back by chains. I once wrote a poem like that long ago, but I've sadly lost it.

Good poem, good title. Keep it up, girl!

Sacha van Straten said...

Good stuff. Keep your spirits up and keep writing. I was lucky. My high school teachers encouraged writing, especially poetry. More than 20 years on, and following another career, in another life, as a TV director, I'm back in the same school, trying to follow my own teachers' passion, and make writing an essential part of every student's life. So, do your own thing, follow your own path, and try to write something every day. The rest is just stuff....

Inkpot said...

Lovely poem. Reminded me of the story of Icarus. One little thing - the line Winging soaring in the first stanza. It doesn't scan right. Did you mean wings soaring or winging, soaring?

Don said...

Very nice poem. I came over via Pictures, Poetry, and Prose. Your poems are lovely.

The title is good.

You might enjoy picking up a copy of an "ancient" book (1960s I think). An extended metaphor regarding flight, excellence, the flock, and creativity: Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

(You've complements from some excellent poets who thought enough of your work to find your blog. Keep it up!)